moving on to wordpress!

I've been thinking of shifting into wordpress for some time. and Now, I presume the time have come.
Thinking of dividing the action.

1. The blooger ID will continue to exsist, but will be predominantly used for my malayalam posts.
2. The main action will be down in wordpress. The updates and english posts will be there.

I do hope you guys will continue to read through my blog, criticize me, commend me and guide me.
Thanx for being there all the time.
see ya at the other end:)
kudos!

I'm waiting

well, I'll quote from a hindi song

"pehli nazar me hi khayal ho gaya
dekha dubaara tho paagal ho gaya"

I admit..I got struck. hmm. But, I'm Jeevan and I've got a reputation to protect.
to the family, to the friends, to the society.

So, I've to make sure that I'm not making a stupid dump decision.
and make sure that This is true love.
Now, whatever i think now.. I'm in this stage of floating, that the answer will always will be
"hell, ya... u love her"
nay. I have to make myself more surer. so, thats exactly I'm waiting for.

Trust me, i'm not completely lunatic. Even I have got some chance for attaining the escape velocity.:)

okey.. Now, there is a phenomena I have always observed.. till the moment i break the ice, people will be with me, contemplating, conspiring, inspiring and making me spit out the verdict. and the moment they know the 'Ms. X' is a person they know well, there's a sort of difficulty for them. A dilema of where exactly they should place themselves between me and her.. :D
aint i right?

Now now, i dont want u to be in that situation.. nay. not u. just wait a little more taaaime.
Just play along, and I'll make sure that no one knows.
That is because, I dont want to disturb her studies, no matter what. I get her or no, i dont want to disturb her future.
Especially since i love her so so much.

hmm.. i'm getting kinda boring huh?? trust me, dear.. once u are in this stupid state of utter eerie filled doped float, u'll defenitely loose ur marbles.

Then there is this great relief for me.
I'm at absolute security.
I have nothing to fear. whatever I do, wherevr I leave her for the time being, she'll be there and there only. I have pacca confidence, that she'll not drift away, to the arms of any of my competors! so, why should i bloody bother? nay. not me.
She'll be there for me. preserved in a crystal case, just like an angel. hmm.

angelic. thats the word mom used as an exclaim

PS: I'll wait.
the waiting gives an additional pleasure. a pleasure of being tormented. The waiting gives me tolerance, temperance, patience and an evaluation of price of what i'll obtain in the end. She's worthy of my wait, and she's too preciouse to be obtained without a struggle.
I'm waiting.

GOD!!! I am in Love.

My heart has started giving signs of alarm. The pace have gone up, and the rythm resembles some kinda music, now.. That too, a melancholy one.
In all the books I have read, in all the historical documents I have gone through, something is given explicitely. Love is danger. Stay away.
I did so, till now.
Now, I feel the dread. My friend, Love is more frightening experience than a gun nudged on to your Point Blanck. If fired, I am dead, and the rest is upto God. But if Love strikes me, I am worse than dead. I alone will have to face all the consequences of my action.
Today, I am waging a war I can never win. Waging a combat in vain. I may hold the feelings at bay for the time being. But, for how long.. I donot know!! I do be no pessimist, but in this particular war of mine,I have no faith left for myself.

Yea, I am wondering about the inevitable doom.. Trust me, a part of my heart pulses to call it, "the sweet dream of mine". I'll love her all of my days. And it will be her and her only. When I see her pass, and didnot make an eye contact with mine, i'm thinking of an infinite number of possibilities, as what may have caused for her not to look at me.
Oh, if I were to describe an angel, it would be her name. If I were to describe a flower, it would be in her name. Every breeze is soo sweet, every sight is sooo beautiful.. Say, for example, the fan is rotating soo beautifully, so symmetrically..If I were to do anything at all, it will be for her sake. I, who have been an ardent warrior for customs, is now withering for her attention.
My defence, I was so proud of, is now nothing but sattered ruins.

My heart is trapped within her. But my body can still continue its journey.Lord, send me somewhere so far, so quick, so long, that I'll never have to tell her what i feel in the depths of my heart.
But I donot know, as wise men have said, "absence is like wind.. quenches the shallow and rekindles the deeper passions". Frankly, my friend.. I am in this stupid state of absolute confusion. Today, All I know is, I donot know what the outcme will be!

Psalms 23:The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures,he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake..........The Lord heareth the prayers of those who ask to put aside hatred. But He is deaf to those who would flee from love.....

I donot know. And worse, I still donot know where her heart lies.
Alas for the folly of this foolish lover.

i duuno what should be the title for this

A rule, is a rule only untill it is applicable to eveyrone. In case os principles of life, I'll say, to every single matter..
to every single person.Only then, it can be called as a principle. Now, somtimes it happens in life when, someone will become
so near and dear to you, that you are willing to break those rules for them. At that point, you loose your individality. At
that point, u cease to be the person you used to be. At that point my friends, Understand the plain fact. That you are in Love.

People, thos who staybak to comment, do put a comment what the title should be!

Magic Moments of Life

"You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the nexpected to happen. Every day, God gives us the sun -and also
one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists - a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perfom miracles. Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappoinments - but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps he won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when that person looks back - and at some point everyone looks back - he will hear his heart saying, "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents... So, this is your heritage: the certainty that you wasted your life. Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed them by."

Paulo Coelho-- By the river Piedra I sat and wept.