I HATE BEING LIKE THIS!!

Oh! I hate this..
its been hard times..
Cant eat a thing. Wont feel bloody hungry most of the time. And hav to follow a "timetable' for eating. and when u do feel hungry, u cant eat a thing.
no meat, egge, fish, oil.. not even a bread!!

Can't stand up proprely. all the time during the day.. u feel tired and tired that u'll lie down and sleep. and all night, lay awake, staring at the fan, counting the rpm, chasing the mosquitos, feeling too hot. or feeling too cold.

I hate it when the bloody college people won't even budge. Says the series will be put next week itself. "If i want I should come" huh! As if It was my bloody fault getting jaundice.

I hate it when mom runs the bloody business of BBC. calling evry single person in the phone book, telling, " I cant come na, because Jeevan is affected with Jaundice. and without me he cant do anything!" Oh! i hate when people look at me with sympathy.. like as if I'm going to die. I hate like hell when i need to depend on people.

Bloody hell.. I've been writing on this bloody blog for how long, for what!! and nobody's listning.

what not! I hate writing down all my bloody emotions. makes me feel vulnerable. too transparent. Bloody me